BoDra... On A Friday???

Subtitle: It's met its match


Yes, yes, I know the Bonnet Drama's place is reserved for Sunday night, but they are bringing back Inspector Frenchface in my chosen ABC timeslot. This would be my unimpressed face.

And seeing as I am working down at the Boy Factory tomorrow, I felt the need to do something to fill some beautiful and rare hours of solitude. So I hired The Duchess.

I have never been the biggest fan of Keira Knightly. She is a bit too pouty and shouty for my liking. Her posh accent and complete absence of boobs does not endear her in the slightest. Give me a Portman or a Johannsen any day of the week.

And then there is her jaw. In a previous place of employment, I was arguing about the extreme size of KK's jaw, and as proof turned to Google (how did arguements get solved before???) to find that someone had written a BLOG by KK's jaw. The link of http://keiraknightleysjaw.com/ still exists, but it no longer contains the musings and diary entries of the lower part of KK's face.


Seriously, it is huge.

A discussion of her jaw, its size and angle QUITE SERIOUSLY also appears on a site that describes itself as "A site for square jaw women admirers, at last !!" (seriously, who lets these people on the internet?? ). So the accusations squared at me (pun entirely intended) about my unfeasible obsession with the Pirate's Girlfriend's jaw are supported by other internet based lunatics. Which, come to think of it, seems to be a less-than-solid defence for my own sanity, but let us move on.

The Duchess was as expected, a bodicy tale of a young woman born out of time. A woman of as great an influence as could be in those days. And quite the 17th century fashionista. With the tiny waist, the bustle and the 2 foot wig with another 4 foot of feather on top... Wayne Cooper's bean poles wouldn't have the strength! The spesh features tell me that this particular Duchess of Devonshire (I have felt like eating scones all night!) was quite the tabloid celeb in her time. The story was a mite predictable, what with the arranged marriage, and the manners, and the domineering mother, and the greasy philandering husband.

And of course there is the delicious affair that she has, going against Hubby Ralph and Too-Tighted-Corseted Mother. She not so secretly snogs him in the park, then romps around Bath leaving The Duke with his Mistress back in London.

Her little bit on the side, destined from the opening scene is the very scrummy Dominic Cooper, playing the soon-to-be PM. Not to go all Antonia Quirkey actor man obsessive, but he is more than a little bit yummy. Since History Boys. Mmmh. (He just might have to be my next Video Ezy Stalking Victim. Note To Self)
Hmmm.

But again, I digress!

Throughout the film, I was trying to get emersed and lose myself in the storyline, but all I kept thinking (aside from 'where are this woman's boobs??) was "has her jaw gotten smaller?". Maybe Keira was born out of time too. Maybe she was meant to be living in the 1650s, with the giant wigs and headpieces that balance out her face. Turns out, when KK has on 5 foot of fake hair, her jaw looks like its in proportion!