As I have bemoaned before, The Mighty U14s haven't really been up to scratch since Round 1. The first game we played reflected the pre-season training. Trust. Passing. Space. Talk. The 4 cornerstones of my coaching rants.
This week was do or die. And other such sporting cliches. After 2 weeks of nursing injuries (a fight with a bathroom sink for the skipper, a fractured footbone for the right back) and illnesses, thanks to The Boy Factory Plague, and wet weather and exams affecting our training schedule, we have been receiving results that reflected our complete lack of fitness and confidence.
And with The Green Machine trouncing us 2 weeks in a row, they have been nipping at our heels, closing our healthy gap of 9 points down to 1 point. With West Bubblefuck Football Association (rant about them to be found here) have canned the usual semi-finals season, due to so many wet weather weekends, a second place finish is essential.
So this weekend we faced Top of The Table. We have been comprehensively beaten by them before. We've also given them a touch up once, and then drawn in another game. One might say - specifically, my striker - we're pretty evenly matched.
Coming in to the match, there were nerves. A few golden rev up speeches by myself and my sidekick-supercoach.
For 80% of the game, they played like warriors. Focused. Energetic. With sharing and talking and teamwork. There was a moment in time that I turned to my sidekick and said "They're asleep. They've switched off." And within 20 seconds, Top of The Table had scored the softest goal I have ever seen. The backline were caught napping, and a not-that-hard ball was put through past the too-far-forward keeper. It barely rolled against the upright before dribbling across the line. My boys had their heads down, and at half time, we were down 1-0. At one point, I actually saw stars. A little too much shouting, and not quite enough inhaling.
More rev up speeches about intensity at half time. Sidekick got a little loose with some profanities, and lied to say that The Green Machine were up 1-0 in the game on the other side of the park, in an attempt to put some fire in their bellies. The striker tried to have a gripe about the sloppy defence, which may have been warranted. But I hit back with the instruction that the front line needed to share with each other more.
Onto the field again, a little more hungry for the ball. A soft call of being pushed over at the top of the box led to a beautiful penalty that was near impossible to save. And then we're down 2-0.
But as if from nowhere, desperation became hunger, which was converted into 2 quick goals.
2-2 at the whistle!!!
And The Green Machine drew with Bottom of the Ladder!!
At this stage, we're in the final. Sure there is the small matter that we have played 3 games less than all the other teams in the comp, but I really don't see how that can be recitified by next Saturday. Just like Mr Shue in Glee, I feel like I have pushed my team all the way to Regionals. Except we're not going to do a Journey medley.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The Gods of Seinfeld
If you are curious as to where my life is at, and also the state of Lil Bro's life too, please just watch Season 7 Episode 2 of Seinfeld, "The Postponement".
The prophetic Gods of Seinfeld are so much more accurate than Jonathan Cainer or any other lame astrologer with a flaky voice. The Gods of Seinfeld speak of marriage, break ups, choosing to be an adult.... And hot hot coffee.
The prophetic Gods of Seinfeld are so much more accurate than Jonathan Cainer or any other lame astrologer with a flaky voice. The Gods of Seinfeld speak of marriage, break ups, choosing to be an adult.... And hot hot coffee.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Springing
In September, things are going to change.
I am not going to let the petri dish of The Boy Factory knock me down again.
I am going to return to optimum, gym-going health.
I am not going to take up chocolate again.
I am going to do a little work each day rather than get stuck cramming before deadlines.
I will be resilient, and energetic, and open.
This be the Plan of Spring.
I am not going to let the petri dish of The Boy Factory knock me down again.
I am going to return to optimum, gym-going health.
I am not going to take up chocolate again.
I am going to do a little work each day rather than get stuck cramming before deadlines.
I will be resilient, and energetic, and open.
This be the Plan of Spring.
The Century Club Part Deuce
The sequel to the epic and incredibly self-indulgent list of things that make me happy. Written entirely to pull me out of the doldrums, in cases of emergency.
51. My terrible cake decorating - Famous on Facebook. Blogged about here. My shame is mixed inextricably with my own self-deprecating pisstaking disgust at myself.
Eg:
52. Being called a Bitch - But only by a select number of people. My head teacher, for example. In a way that only he can get away with. You know you're boss respects you and likes you when he can call you a bitch and nobody gets hurt.
53. Crouching 80s Hidden Acronym - A random name for a ragtag collection of incredibly talented musos. This band is fronted by my brother, a nauseatingly brilliant human who has the Midas touch, but in a good way. With incredibly high energy and volume, they carve up each tiny stage they play on, tearing the venue and the crowd apart with their guitar riffs, erratic bass lines, screaming sax, tiny hunchy keyboard and harmonised vocals. Most of the stuff they do is original, but I love the fact that the bulk of their covers were originally released before they were born. Crowd favourite is Bowie's 'Let's Dance', and it is oh so amusing to see and hear a bunch of screamy teenyboppers go nuts over a song that is almost as old as I am! You can check them out on the unearthed site and at live.fm too.
54. Use of the word SOLEMNISE - Which of course sounds like 'Sodomise'. An amusing addition to any wedding ceremony, of course.
55. This photo:
Taken at sunrise, at the top of Arthur's Seat, overlooking the bay in Edinburgh. Sleep deprived and fueled almost entirely with vodka, this night/morning goes down as one of the best moments of the tour. Plus the fact that Simon (pictured) is only moments away from being punched in the makes it infinitely more amusing!
56. Winning at Trivia - Back in The Big Smoke, weekly pub trivia was just that... weekly. The Paddington Darts and (insert topical/amusing statement here) team were pretty gun. My competitive spirit got a weekly outlet. And I usually got to be scribe, but that was mostly because my voice is too loud, so even when I whispered answers, it would come out as a bellow. Now, triv is only something I get to dabble in when I get down to The Big Smoke for a holiday.
57. The big speech from The Witches - Back in my thespian days, I got to play The Grand High Witch in a production of Roald Dahl's The Witches. And I still know most of her epic speech by heart. Which impressed/frightened my year 7 class last year!
58. Pretty much everything Tim Burton does - Maybe it appeals to the emo in me. Wait, it probably pre-dates emo, so I am going to have to say it appeals to the goth in me. Like the aforementioned stripey socks. I love TB's aesthetic, with its twisty curled branches and slightly skewed framing. Of course, the inclusion of Johnny Depp, doesn't hurt either...
59. Q'est que cest that bird? - freaky suspended scare crows do wonders for the ambiance of a wedding, right?
60. Wearing brooches - especially when they are particularly random. My favourite is a little Lego pirate I bought at the Glebe markets. The Boys at The Factory cannot cope with such randomness.
"Miss, why are you wearing a Lego man?"
Gotta keep them guessing!
61. Ellen Page - She is just so goddam cute. Plus she is in Juno. And Whip It.
62. Knitting - I haven't done much this winter. And it really is a winter sport. West Bubblefuck in Summer is NOT friends with knitting. But there is a cupboard full of un-knitted yarn that I really should get my needles into. Best way to turn my brain off, kind of like constructive meditation.
63. Dirty sign language - Did you know that the signs for Vagina and Samosa are very similar. Sign language is ingenious in the way it turns words into actions. Watching Adam Hills' DVDs is great for my love of this, as he often has a signing interpreter... and he exploits them outrageously.
64. The fight scene in High Fidelity - I have been trying to find a still of the scene, right where Tim Robbins gets smashed in the teeth with the telephone. But it won't be found. A simple piece of slapstick that really shouldn't appeal to me, but it gets me everytime.
65. The Banjo Diva - I won't post the video of her playing. For fear of humiliation, though that would not be the purpose of posting it. My darling aunt learned to play 'Happy Birthday' for her mother's 80th birthday. The fact that my nauseatingly talented brother outplayed her was not very gracious of him, but it made for some hilarious times. And thus she became The Banjo Diva. I'm hoping she'll learn how to play 'Here Comes The Bride' before Scott & Rose's wedding!
66. Pyjamas - I have actually banned myself from buying any more. I am a big fan of flannies, and I love the fact that getting into PJs is almost like putting a full stop on the day. There will be no more trawling the halls of The Boy Factory if the jarmies are on!
67. Being a ranga - even though Gem says I am not allowed to call myself that. Originally I died it as a way of taking control of my life while living at home with my parents as I fast approached the ripe old age of 30. But I have been back again and again to the rouge, the rust, the roux, the ranga.... But only a ginger can call another ginger ginger.
68. The fact that DVDs are tax deductable - because there really does need to be some perks to being a teacher.
69. Any time this number us written anywhere - because really I am a puerile, juvenile, immature monkey who giggles at just about anything. My school friend Adam used to call it a "Danne-ism". Sparky today called me a "Smut". Smut as a proper noun? I like it!
70. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Why aren't I in charge of the world? Or at least in charge of world wide television programming...?
Aaron Sorkin is a genius scriptwriter. Tommy Schlamme can direct for TV. In this, the golden era of the TV series, they created a golden crusted gem of a series. That only lasted for 1 season.
Set in the hectic insanity of the creation of a weekly live comedy sketch show a-la Saturday Night Live. But the show is more about the drama behind the scenes that the comedy in front of the camera. Matthew Perry doesn't stretch too far from Friends's Chandler. Bradley Whitford isn't sketched too far from The West Wing's Josh Lyman. But there is merit in almost recreating these well loved characters in a new context.
While the fact that this show was bitterly brief makes me want to wobble my bottom lip. But the fact that there are 22 beautifully crafted episodes to go back to is surely a reason to smile.
71. Frankie magazine -
[voice over in the style of a blockbuster film]
In a world where retouching and eating disorder are all too powerful.
In an industry where diets and weight loss plans are used to get titles off the shelves.
In a nation where celebrity is king, and obsession with fame is choking us all
Comes a magazine that is so refreshing, so charming, so self-referential and based on the [shock horror] the ARTICLES (and not in Playboy kind of way).
Craft, life, cute brooches and tshirts. Art, music and other miscellany. A good read every 2 months!
73. Licking the bowl clean - Almost the best thing about baking is licking the spoon and bowl. Of course, having tasty tasty brownies is fantastic, but the juvenile joy of getting that gooey mixture everywhere is so sweet!
78. When someone I teach decides they want to be a teacher - I am not saying it is ME that is the reason. I just like it when someone else recognises what an amazing opportunity teaching is. And as much as it is hard work, and as much as putting up with teenagers being total douchebags, and with mammoth amounts of paperwork, and with total bullshit hoops to jump through, it is a really rewarding and enjoyable career.
79. My father's beard - The status quo for me is a Bearded Father. When all three of us were babies, when he was beardless, we would treat him like a stranger. His beard matches his personality, his body and his face. It is a pretty identifiable feature that easily says "Hey, I'm Chopper"
I work with Dad at The Boy Factory. Every 12 months or so, he ditches the facial follicles. Gives his baby-face a breather.
And I love how seriously everybody else takes this. His beard is so much a part of the culture of the school, that everybody feels like they have a claim of ownership. They all ask me "What do you think about your dad's beard?" I just think it is hysterical that everyone thinks they get a say!
78. X-Men - I used to love the cartoon. I LOVE the films, especially the first 2. I have almost finished reading the epic and wrist breaking X-Men 1, the compiled original comic books - described by my head teacher as the "nerdiest thing you have ever done". I can't WAIT for the next movies - there are FOUR in pre-production! Once again, my incredible capacity to geek shines through!
79. This picture
Because I hate Twilight so much. And I don't much like hairless cats either. Unless it is Mr Bigglesworth...
80. This girl:
The Darby Monster is a total joy. Even when she is cranky pants. She almost has my birthday, and already I can see we like all the same stuff. Must be that early April thing. Three Cheese Omelette at the Toothie. Bacon. Birds on tshirts. Coffee (well, she digs babycinos more). MaryJane shoes. Twirling around for no apparent reason (I don't make time for that anymore... Note to self: make some twirling time).
This blonde bombshell is kinda the first of the next gen. The B Team (B by name, not order of awesomeness) were the first of my inner circle to build a baby, and what a babe she is!!
81. Eggs on the weekend - hungover or not, it just seems not like the weekend, unless there is eggs in the morning. Apparently the Heart Foundation just increased the number of recommended eggs for human consumption from 2 per week to 6. This makes me happy.
82. Yoga - I didn't want to like Yoga. My mum likes Yoga. But despite my desire to not like it, I really do. Except I don't much like the sitting still and breathing for an hour yoga. I like the moving around kinda stuff. Perhaps it is my supreme impatience, or my inability to sit still, or the fact that the whole navel gazing introspective thing makes me a little uncomfortable (even that admission feels a little bit too much like naval gazing to me...) But a few good warrior poses and downward dogs, with just a tiny bit of falling asleep at the end makes me get that still, contented smile.
83. Pancakes - Not the fluffy batter gently fried into cakey circles. But the alcoholic beverage kind. A lick of sugar, a shot of Frangelico, and a suck of a slice of lemon. Tastes exactly like a pancake with lemon and sugar on top. It creates a god-awful mess on benchtops of houseparties. And because Frangelico isn't a kick you in the back of the head percentage of alcohol like say, tequila, it seems to mix OK with beer, or wine, or whatever beverage of choice is that evening, without the excruciating headache the morning after. Well... mostly.
84. James McEvoy
Recently I have heard him being accused of being too thin to be hot. This is a blatant lie. Sure his face is not the usual chiseled and jutting structure that is generally required for hot. He is an unlikely thief. And unlikely action star. A very likely dorky university student. A very fitting wrongly accused gardener. A perfectly formed faun. And even more exciting - and by exciting I mean I am having a physiological response here - McAvoy is named to play Francis Xavier in X-Men: First Class. So much anticipation!!!!!
85. Shots of London in films - especially stuff around the South Bank. The Eye. Waterloo Bridge. Hungerford Foot Bridge. The Tate. Love Actually was actually shot when I was living there in Waterloo, just down from the OXO Tower. We used to sit on the bench that Liam Neeson sat on. Some of the cast came in for post-work drinks. Including the very scrummy Andrew Lincoln ("Egg is in our pub!! Egg!!!!") (Hear that name? Just dropped it...). Shots in Edinburgh and Sydney make me grin too, but what with London being one of the most exciting cities in the world... it tends to turn up in quite a few more films than my other beloved cities.
86. That Girls - There once was a road trip, in the midst of the 21st season - that time when almost every weekend for the duration of 2 years in which the prime social real estate of Friday and Saturday nights were occupied by a 21st birthday. Or several. The road trip ones were for the truly committed. This particular one was up the coast at Woopi.
And it was on said road trip that the That Girls were formed. We were all That Girls in the car. The kind of girls that Aren't Well Liked. And it the unity makes us stronger!
87. Spies - Really great spy shows and spy films are spectacular. Last night I reminded my mother of James Bond and his Christmas Jones jokes. Gold. Sidney Bristow and her brilliance in a wig is unsurpassed (though I think Channel 7 is just about to attempt to launch something to compete... doesn't quite look as good though). Chuck kicks arse. Bourne rocks. All manner of acronyms - the CIA, MI5, KGB... ASIO doesn't quite have the same ring to it. I wonder if there is much of a call for English teachers to join ASIO... Probably not, huh?
88. Waking up WITHOUT a headache - especially when you have been sick for a while. Of course, being in the Germ Factory - oops, I mean The Boy Factory - I am living in a bit of a petri dish. And what with my completely decimated immune system (thanks Baxter College), if there is some kind of lurgy going around, chances are my sinuses and my tonsils will take that ball and run with it. There's a mixed metaphor, from petri dish to ball running in 2 lines!!
89. Waking up WITHOUT an alarm clock - The moment of joy that there was nothing that woke me up except a fullness of sleep. Ah, bliss.
90. Dystopian Young Adult Fiction - especially The Hunger Games and Chaos Walking. Just bought Hunger Games 3 this arvo! Am trying SO hard not to read it right now, because then it will be over!! I have harped on about this one already, over here.
91. This website: Kermit Bale
92. Afros with specs - and the fact that every time I see a guy with a fro and glasses, I think of Moss. Seriously, it happened in downtown West Bubblefuck last week!
The IT Crowd is just further evidence that Channel 4 are doing the greatest things in TV in the world.
93. All of Monty Python - even though now they are all a bunch of sexist, too rich to be funny, old men. But in their day... Well, they were a bunch of puerile, rediculous, sexist young men. But funny as hell.
94. The book of metal pages that holds all the wisdom of the sea - On the end of the promenade at Bondi Beach is a tombstone. An epitaph. An empty plinth to remind us of the Book of Metal Pages That Holds All The Wisdom Of The Sea. It is no longer there. But its wisdom is not forgotten.
"Some eat leftovers"
95. The Chaser - Undergraduate, private school boy humour it might be. But I miss them railing against everything in their War. I was delighted to see them back in The Great Indecision of 2010 in Yes We Canberra. Being media whores is not endearing to them really. They work much better together as a team.
96. This video:
The only thing this is missing is Joany and her awesome curves!
97. Scrabble - All new addiction on my BFF, oops I mean my iPhone. I say all new, but this has been going on for at least 7 weeks. And is isn't Scrabble (c), like proper brand name Scrabble. It's actually called Words with Friends. It has become somewhat of an addiction - I can play it with peeps all over the world!
Scrabble is always the opportunity for less-than-clean word usage. A dinner party with The A-Team in Edinburgh resulted in this:
The sad part of the story is that the BEST words have been cut out of frame, in a tragedy of drunken photography.
98. The ocean - Being in it. Watching it. Listening to it. There is something about the sea that reduces problems to insignificance. How can something be big in comparison to the ocean?
99. Free stuff - like getting given a free chocolate mousse when all you really feel like doing is bursting in to tears. Sure fire cheer-upper-er
100. This list - Having 100 things that make me smile makes me a pretty lucky human. There are more than this list can name. But these are the ones that come to my without trying very hard.
I am a lucky girl. I'm pretty fun. I have great friends, and they show me everyday that I am loved. No matter what happens, I am lucky to be this happy.
51. My terrible cake decorating - Famous on Facebook. Blogged about here. My shame is mixed inextricably with my own self-deprecating pisstaking disgust at myself.
Eg:
52. Being called a Bitch - But only by a select number of people. My head teacher, for example. In a way that only he can get away with. You know you're boss respects you and likes you when he can call you a bitch and nobody gets hurt.
53. Crouching 80s Hidden Acronym - A random name for a ragtag collection of incredibly talented musos. This band is fronted by my brother, a nauseatingly brilliant human who has the Midas touch, but in a good way. With incredibly high energy and volume, they carve up each tiny stage they play on, tearing the venue and the crowd apart with their guitar riffs, erratic bass lines, screaming sax, tiny hunchy keyboard and harmonised vocals. Most of the stuff they do is original, but I love the fact that the bulk of their covers were originally released before they were born. Crowd favourite is Bowie's 'Let's Dance', and it is oh so amusing to see and hear a bunch of screamy teenyboppers go nuts over a song that is almost as old as I am! You can check them out on the unearthed site and at live.fm too.
54. Use of the word SOLEMNISE - Which of course sounds like 'Sodomise'. An amusing addition to any wedding ceremony, of course.
55. This photo:
Taken at sunrise, at the top of Arthur's Seat, overlooking the bay in Edinburgh. Sleep deprived and fueled almost entirely with vodka, this night/morning goes down as one of the best moments of the tour. Plus the fact that Simon (pictured) is only moments away from being punched in the makes it infinitely more amusing!
56. Winning at Trivia - Back in The Big Smoke, weekly pub trivia was just that... weekly. The Paddington Darts and (insert topical/amusing statement here) team were pretty gun. My competitive spirit got a weekly outlet. And I usually got to be scribe, but that was mostly because my voice is too loud, so even when I whispered answers, it would come out as a bellow. Now, triv is only something I get to dabble in when I get down to The Big Smoke for a holiday.
57. The big speech from The Witches - Back in my thespian days, I got to play The Grand High Witch in a production of Roald Dahl's The Witches. And I still know most of her epic speech by heart. Which impressed/frightened my year 7 class last year!
58. Pretty much everything Tim Burton does - Maybe it appeals to the emo in me. Wait, it probably pre-dates emo, so I am going to have to say it appeals to the goth in me. Like the aforementioned stripey socks. I love TB's aesthetic, with its twisty curled branches and slightly skewed framing. Of course, the inclusion of Johnny Depp, doesn't hurt either...
59. Q'est que cest that bird? - freaky suspended scare crows do wonders for the ambiance of a wedding, right?
60. Wearing brooches - especially when they are particularly random. My favourite is a little Lego pirate I bought at the Glebe markets. The Boys at The Factory cannot cope with such randomness.
"Miss, why are you wearing a Lego man?"
Gotta keep them guessing!
61. Ellen Page - She is just so goddam cute. Plus she is in Juno. And Whip It.
62. Knitting - I haven't done much this winter. And it really is a winter sport. West Bubblefuck in Summer is NOT friends with knitting. But there is a cupboard full of un-knitted yarn that I really should get my needles into. Best way to turn my brain off, kind of like constructive meditation.
63. Dirty sign language - Did you know that the signs for Vagina and Samosa are very similar. Sign language is ingenious in the way it turns words into actions. Watching Adam Hills' DVDs is great for my love of this, as he often has a signing interpreter... and he exploits them outrageously.
64. The fight scene in High Fidelity - I have been trying to find a still of the scene, right where Tim Robbins gets smashed in the teeth with the telephone. But it won't be found. A simple piece of slapstick that really shouldn't appeal to me, but it gets me everytime.
65. The Banjo Diva - I won't post the video of her playing. For fear of humiliation, though that would not be the purpose of posting it. My darling aunt learned to play 'Happy Birthday' for her mother's 80th birthday. The fact that my nauseatingly talented brother outplayed her was not very gracious of him, but it made for some hilarious times. And thus she became The Banjo Diva. I'm hoping she'll learn how to play 'Here Comes The Bride' before Scott & Rose's wedding!
66. Pyjamas - I have actually banned myself from buying any more. I am a big fan of flannies, and I love the fact that getting into PJs is almost like putting a full stop on the day. There will be no more trawling the halls of The Boy Factory if the jarmies are on!
67. Being a ranga - even though Gem says I am not allowed to call myself that. Originally I died it as a way of taking control of my life while living at home with my parents as I fast approached the ripe old age of 30. But I have been back again and again to the rouge, the rust, the roux, the ranga.... But only a ginger can call another ginger ginger.
68. The fact that DVDs are tax deductable - because there really does need to be some perks to being a teacher.
69. Any time this number us written anywhere - because really I am a puerile, juvenile, immature monkey who giggles at just about anything. My school friend Adam used to call it a "Danne-ism". Sparky today called me a "Smut". Smut as a proper noun? I like it!
70. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Why aren't I in charge of the world? Or at least in charge of world wide television programming...?
Aaron Sorkin is a genius scriptwriter. Tommy Schlamme can direct for TV. In this, the golden era of the TV series, they created a golden crusted gem of a series. That only lasted for 1 season.
Set in the hectic insanity of the creation of a weekly live comedy sketch show a-la Saturday Night Live. But the show is more about the drama behind the scenes that the comedy in front of the camera. Matthew Perry doesn't stretch too far from Friends's Chandler. Bradley Whitford isn't sketched too far from The West Wing's Josh Lyman. But there is merit in almost recreating these well loved characters in a new context.
While the fact that this show was bitterly brief makes me want to wobble my bottom lip. But the fact that there are 22 beautifully crafted episodes to go back to is surely a reason to smile.
71. Frankie magazine -
[voice over in the style of a blockbuster film]
In a world where retouching and eating disorder are all too powerful.
image via
In an industry where diets and weight loss plans are used to get titles off the shelves.
In a nation where celebrity is king, and obsession with fame is choking us all
Comes a magazine that is so refreshing, so charming, so self-referential and based on the [shock horror] the ARTICLES (and not in Playboy kind of way).
Craft, life, cute brooches and tshirts. Art, music and other miscellany. A good read every 2 months!
73. Licking the bowl clean - Almost the best thing about baking is licking the spoon and bowl. Of course, having tasty tasty brownies is fantastic, but the juvenile joy of getting that gooey mixture everywhere is so sweet!
78. When someone I teach decides they want to be a teacher - I am not saying it is ME that is the reason. I just like it when someone else recognises what an amazing opportunity teaching is. And as much as it is hard work, and as much as putting up with teenagers being total douchebags, and with mammoth amounts of paperwork, and with total bullshit hoops to jump through, it is a really rewarding and enjoyable career.
79. My father's beard - The status quo for me is a Bearded Father. When all three of us were babies, when he was beardless, we would treat him like a stranger. His beard matches his personality, his body and his face. It is a pretty identifiable feature that easily says "Hey, I'm Chopper"
I work with Dad at The Boy Factory. Every 12 months or so, he ditches the facial follicles. Gives his baby-face a breather.
And I love how seriously everybody else takes this. His beard is so much a part of the culture of the school, that everybody feels like they have a claim of ownership. They all ask me "What do you think about your dad's beard?" I just think it is hysterical that everyone thinks they get a say!
78. X-Men - I used to love the cartoon. I LOVE the films, especially the first 2. I have almost finished reading the epic and wrist breaking X-Men 1, the compiled original comic books - described by my head teacher as the "nerdiest thing you have ever done". I can't WAIT for the next movies - there are FOUR in pre-production! Once again, my incredible capacity to geek shines through!
79. This picture
via here
Because I hate Twilight so much. And I don't much like hairless cats either. Unless it is Mr Bigglesworth...
80. This girl:
The Darby Monster is a total joy. Even when she is cranky pants. She almost has my birthday, and already I can see we like all the same stuff. Must be that early April thing. Three Cheese Omelette at the Toothie. Bacon. Birds on tshirts. Coffee (well, she digs babycinos more). MaryJane shoes. Twirling around for no apparent reason (I don't make time for that anymore... Note to self: make some twirling time).
This blonde bombshell is kinda the first of the next gen. The B Team (B by name, not order of awesomeness) were the first of my inner circle to build a baby, and what a babe she is!!
81. Eggs on the weekend - hungover or not, it just seems not like the weekend, unless there is eggs in the morning. Apparently the Heart Foundation just increased the number of recommended eggs for human consumption from 2 per week to 6. This makes me happy.
82. Yoga - I didn't want to like Yoga. My mum likes Yoga. But despite my desire to not like it, I really do. Except I don't much like the sitting still and breathing for an hour yoga. I like the moving around kinda stuff. Perhaps it is my supreme impatience, or my inability to sit still, or the fact that the whole navel gazing introspective thing makes me a little uncomfortable (even that admission feels a little bit too much like naval gazing to me...) But a few good warrior poses and downward dogs, with just a tiny bit of falling asleep at the end makes me get that still, contented smile.
83. Pancakes - Not the fluffy batter gently fried into cakey circles. But the alcoholic beverage kind. A lick of sugar, a shot of Frangelico, and a suck of a slice of lemon. Tastes exactly like a pancake with lemon and sugar on top. It creates a god-awful mess on benchtops of houseparties. And because Frangelico isn't a kick you in the back of the head percentage of alcohol like say, tequila, it seems to mix OK with beer, or wine, or whatever beverage of choice is that evening, without the excruciating headache the morning after. Well... mostly.
84. James McEvoy
85. Shots of London in films - especially stuff around the South Bank. The Eye. Waterloo Bridge. Hungerford Foot Bridge. The Tate. Love Actually was actually shot when I was living there in Waterloo, just down from the OXO Tower. We used to sit on the bench that Liam Neeson sat on. Some of the cast came in for post-work drinks. Including the very scrummy Andrew Lincoln ("Egg is in our pub!! Egg!!!!") (Hear that name? Just dropped it...). Shots in Edinburgh and Sydney make me grin too, but what with London being one of the most exciting cities in the world... it tends to turn up in quite a few more films than my other beloved cities.
86. That Girls - There once was a road trip, in the midst of the 21st season - that time when almost every weekend for the duration of 2 years in which the prime social real estate of Friday and Saturday nights were occupied by a 21st birthday. Or several. The road trip ones were for the truly committed. This particular one was up the coast at Woopi.
And it was on said road trip that the That Girls were formed. We were all That Girls in the car. The kind of girls that Aren't Well Liked. And it the unity makes us stronger!
87. Spies - Really great spy shows and spy films are spectacular. Last night I reminded my mother of James Bond and his Christmas Jones jokes. Gold. Sidney Bristow and her brilliance in a wig is unsurpassed (though I think Channel 7 is just about to attempt to launch something to compete... doesn't quite look as good though). Chuck kicks arse. Bourne rocks. All manner of acronyms - the CIA, MI5, KGB... ASIO doesn't quite have the same ring to it. I wonder if there is much of a call for English teachers to join ASIO... Probably not, huh?
88. Waking up WITHOUT a headache - especially when you have been sick for a while. Of course, being in the Germ Factory - oops, I mean The Boy Factory - I am living in a bit of a petri dish. And what with my completely decimated immune system (thanks Baxter College), if there is some kind of lurgy going around, chances are my sinuses and my tonsils will take that ball and run with it. There's a mixed metaphor, from petri dish to ball running in 2 lines!!
89. Waking up WITHOUT an alarm clock - The moment of joy that there was nothing that woke me up except a fullness of sleep. Ah, bliss.
90. Dystopian Young Adult Fiction - especially The Hunger Games and Chaos Walking. Just bought Hunger Games 3 this arvo! Am trying SO hard not to read it right now, because then it will be over!! I have harped on about this one already, over here.
91. This website: Kermit Bale
92. Afros with specs - and the fact that every time I see a guy with a fro and glasses, I think of Moss. Seriously, it happened in downtown West Bubblefuck last week!
93. All of Monty Python - even though now they are all a bunch of sexist, too rich to be funny, old men. But in their day... Well, they were a bunch of puerile, rediculous, sexist young men. But funny as hell.
94. The book of metal pages that holds all the wisdom of the sea - On the end of the promenade at Bondi Beach is a tombstone. An epitaph. An empty plinth to remind us of the Book of Metal Pages That Holds All The Wisdom Of The Sea. It is no longer there. But its wisdom is not forgotten.
"Some eat leftovers"
95. The Chaser - Undergraduate, private school boy humour it might be. But I miss them railing against everything in their War. I was delighted to see them back in The Great Indecision of 2010 in Yes We Canberra. Being media whores is not endearing to them really. They work much better together as a team.
96. This video:
The only thing this is missing is Joany and her awesome curves!
97. Scrabble - All new addiction on my BFF, oops I mean my iPhone. I say all new, but this has been going on for at least 7 weeks. And is isn't Scrabble (c), like proper brand name Scrabble. It's actually called Words with Friends. It has become somewhat of an addiction - I can play it with peeps all over the world!
Scrabble is always the opportunity for less-than-clean word usage. A dinner party with The A-Team in Edinburgh resulted in this:
98. The ocean - Being in it. Watching it. Listening to it. There is something about the sea that reduces problems to insignificance. How can something be big in comparison to the ocean?
99. Free stuff - like getting given a free chocolate mousse when all you really feel like doing is bursting in to tears. Sure fire cheer-upper-er
100. This list - Having 100 things that make me smile makes me a pretty lucky human. There are more than this list can name. But these are the ones that come to my without trying very hard.
I am a lucky girl. I'm pretty fun. I have great friends, and they show me everyday that I am loved. No matter what happens, I am lucky to be this happy.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Century Club Part I
This be my 100th post. One Hundred opinions, rants and observations!! (NB - had to split it in to 2 posts. Turns out 100 is a big number!)
So here is my list of 100 things that do not fail to make me smile. This list was started a little while ago, in a Top 6 style post. So here are the other 94. Feel free not to read at all, if indeed anyone is reading this at all... I thought it a fitting way to celebrate my longevity as a blogger! From the inane to the profound, the tasty to the tasteless.
Make no mistake, I am not really expecting anybody to read all this. I am writing it for myself (which is really the reason I blog in the first place), and so I have an easy reference point when shit goes down (and I am expecting a shit storm soon. the shit weatherman has told me so) and I really need to crack a smile.
1. Peeling the top off the butter - Simple joys. A bit like peeling off a label from a beer bottle, but more satisfying. And I can't really explain why...?
2. The change of tempo in Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" - (previously blogged about here) This part of this song will always always always result in the stereo or headphones being cranked right up high, and I usually make the white man's overbite with unbridled joy. Such joy!!!
3. Clean pyjamas in clean sheets - When bedtime is just awesome, in a clean, non-entendre kind of way.
4. The bell on Friday at 3.15pm - This means that there are hours of time with diminished Boy Factory influence. Of course, there is no off position on the English Teacher switch. There is not really a bottom of the pile of things to do. But at least on the weekends, procrastination is just a little more guilt-free. Except in football season, when of course all attention goes to the Mighty U-14s...
5. Michael Cera's face
Double-dare-physical-challenge not to giggle at that mug!
6. My dog realising I am holding the lead and leaping into the air with joy - Because he is a bit of a stupid dog. He does do stupid things. Like bang his head every time he walks past his kennel. Which might explain why he is so stupid... But he understands the signifyer of a human bending down to pick up his lead. It's WALKING TIME!!! Of course being a lazy lab, he gets about half way through the walk and wants to go home to his food bowl and his cushion...
7. Bad Puns - If the green pea rolls of the plate, it is an Escapee. If there are 2 old wooden buckets in a glass cabinet in a museum, they are Pails in Comparison.
A meal of roast lamb will no doubt result in comments of "feeling sheepish, aren't ewe?"
I have heard that the pun is meant to be the lowest form of humour. I wholeheartedly disagree. That honour lies with Two and a Half Men.
8. The Mysterious Ticking Noise - This video:
Catchy use of a metronome. Combination of Harry Potter characters AND puppets???! Gets me every time!
9. Red Mary-Janes - I know, I know, it is such a cliche for a girl to like shoes. But as far as addictions go, I am sure that this is slightly less expensive than cocaine. And perhaps a little better for the structural integrity of my nostrils. I mean, how many pairs is too many pairs? These ones I bought today:
10. The Mighty U-14s - Like the Mighty U-13s before them, I put a great deal of energy into these kiddies. Training once a week. A few hours on the weekends. I go in to battle to reclaim points that should never have been stolen. I organise extra matches against snooty private schools. I am somewhat vocal in my encouragement and instructions on the sideline... this sentence may be a slight understatement. I have been known to lose my voice due to this coaching style. I have been known to theatrically collapse onto my back when a well crafted attack fails at the last moment. When these kids try, they make me laugh and smile and giggle. They don't even need to win, they just need to give it a red hot go.
11. Mondegreens - Someone getting the lyrics wrong to a song is a delight. Especially when they are totally sure of themselves. Some of my favourites include:
For more of these little gems, look to kissthisguy.com, named after Jimi Hendrix... who was actually asking to be excused so he could "kiss the sky"...
12. Spaced - The greatest TV show ever created. Previously blogged about here. Also publicly loved by this lovely lass here. Launchpad to fame for director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim etc), funny men Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Comedy gold, with a homage-a-meter!!
13. My girls - I have previously mentioned that many moons ago I directed a play called The Women. All female cast and crew, a labour of love that was so much hard work, and so much joy, that has continued through many many years. If I need a grin, these lasses will provide, no questions asked!!
44. The drum solo in "Laid" - A song that is a favourite with trivia masters everywhere. And the drum break is best played on a steering wheel, with the stereo cranked, on a road trip somewhere.
So here is my list of 100 things that do not fail to make me smile. This list was started a little while ago, in a Top 6 style post. So here are the other 94. Feel free not to read at all, if indeed anyone is reading this at all... I thought it a fitting way to celebrate my longevity as a blogger! From the inane to the profound, the tasty to the tasteless.
Make no mistake, I am not really expecting anybody to read all this. I am writing it for myself (which is really the reason I blog in the first place), and so I have an easy reference point when shit goes down (and I am expecting a shit storm soon. the shit weatherman has told me so) and I really need to crack a smile.
1. Peeling the top off the butter - Simple joys. A bit like peeling off a label from a beer bottle, but more satisfying. And I can't really explain why...?
2. The change of tempo in Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" - (previously blogged about here) This part of this song will always always always result in the stereo or headphones being cranked right up high, and I usually make the white man's overbite with unbridled joy. Such joy!!!
3. Clean pyjamas in clean sheets - When bedtime is just awesome, in a clean, non-entendre kind of way.
4. The bell on Friday at 3.15pm - This means that there are hours of time with diminished Boy Factory influence. Of course, there is no off position on the English Teacher switch. There is not really a bottom of the pile of things to do. But at least on the weekends, procrastination is just a little more guilt-free. Except in football season, when of course all attention goes to the Mighty U-14s...
5. Michael Cera's face
6. My dog realising I am holding the lead and leaping into the air with joy - Because he is a bit of a stupid dog. He does do stupid things. Like bang his head every time he walks past his kennel. Which might explain why he is so stupid... But he understands the signifyer of a human bending down to pick up his lead. It's WALKING TIME!!! Of course being a lazy lab, he gets about half way through the walk and wants to go home to his food bowl and his cushion...
7. Bad Puns - If the green pea rolls of the plate, it is an Escapee. If there are 2 old wooden buckets in a glass cabinet in a museum, they are Pails in Comparison.
A meal of roast lamb will no doubt result in comments of "feeling sheepish, aren't ewe?"
I have heard that the pun is meant to be the lowest form of humour. I wholeheartedly disagree. That honour lies with Two and a Half Men.
8. The Mysterious Ticking Noise - This video:
Catchy use of a metronome. Combination of Harry Potter characters AND puppets???! Gets me every time!
9. Red Mary-Janes - I know, I know, it is such a cliche for a girl to like shoes. But as far as addictions go, I am sure that this is slightly less expensive than cocaine. And perhaps a little better for the structural integrity of my nostrils. I mean, how many pairs is too many pairs? These ones I bought today:
10. The Mighty U-14s - Like the Mighty U-13s before them, I put a great deal of energy into these kiddies. Training once a week. A few hours on the weekends. I go in to battle to reclaim points that should never have been stolen. I organise extra matches against snooty private schools. I am somewhat vocal in my encouragement and instructions on the sideline... this sentence may be a slight understatement. I have been known to lose my voice due to this coaching style. I have been known to theatrically collapse onto my back when a well crafted attack fails at the last moment. When these kids try, they make me laugh and smile and giggle. They don't even need to win, they just need to give it a red hot go.
11. Mondegreens - Someone getting the lyrics wrong to a song is a delight. Especially when they are totally sure of themselves. Some of my favourites include:
- "I've got no towel! But I've got undies on! You're never gonna keep me down!", made famous by one-hit-wonder of the 90s, Chumbawamba. Apparently, all the rest of their songs are anarchist anthems...? (this one courtesy of a friend of Sparky's)
- "And I sold my soul with my cigarettes, to the black marching band" from Australia's favourite drinking song (from one of brightest yr 12 kiddies at The Boy Factory)
- "But to shower you with visits, would do you no good at all", which would make no sense from Powderfinger at all! (thanks little bro!)
For more of these little gems, look to kissthisguy.com, named after Jimi Hendrix... who was actually asking to be excused so he could "kiss the sky"...
12. Spaced - The greatest TV show ever created. Previously blogged about here. Also publicly loved by this lovely lass here. Launchpad to fame for director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim etc), funny men Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Comedy gold, with a homage-a-meter!!
13. My girls - I have previously mentioned that many moons ago I directed a play called The Women. All female cast and crew, a labour of love that was so much hard work, and so much joy, that has continued through many many years. If I need a grin, these lasses will provide, no questions asked!!
14. Tshirts - I like to wear my sense of humour on my sleeve. Or on my heart and belly, really. Threadless is based in Chicago, and is a user-based internet success story. Any punter can be a member. Any member can submit a design, and fellow members rate the design out of 5. The highest rated get printed! There's two different kinds of designs, really. The arty ones that are aesthetic and fine - I think of them as the feathery ones. And the cartoony ones that are usually a visual pun, with more simplistic lines and colours. I like the latter better. JD wears Threadless tees on Scrubs. Todd sports them on The Gruen Transfer. I get a threadless-length tan line in summer. My favourite ones are:
The Communist Party (Karl Marx is my favourite) and 99 Luftbalons. I am on my second tshirt for both of these designs, having worn them til they disintegrated!
15. Tina Fey - I have a massive girl crush. Funniest chicka in the world. 30 Rock = comedy gold, and the moment when Sarah Palin was named as running for VP of the USA, she just must have rubbed her hands together with glee. "I can see Russia from my house!"
16. Blacks and Cans - yes, yes, I am a Drama Queen. T even bought me a mug that says so. I tend to lead a fairly dramatic life, and tend to overreact to things a little bit. And when I first got bitten by the theatre bug, it was all about being in the limelight, the centre of attention. All about the glory. But when I was about 15 I tried my hand at Stage Management. And have hardly looked back at all. From the first little hit of the production meetings and casting process, to hunting down a cheap crystal whiskey decanter. Mixing the poster glue. Burning the candle at both ends with mega-hours put in at bump in. Pandering to childish whims of actors. Giving notes that contradict the director. Handing out flyers in a foreign city. Grinning from ear to ear as the lights go down and the applause comes up. It is stressful and hectic and time consuming and not very glorious. But that little spark of knowledge that there is no way it could have been done without me is my own little moment of glory.
17. Personalised coffee art - The Toothie does the best coffee in West Bubblefuck. I have been a most loyal customer since I first returned back to town, based on their expert use of the oh so tasty Merlo beans. And when my doubleshot flat white is delivered with the spectacular coffee art by one Samantha Kelly, who wouldn't smile like a goose!
2340, 15 White Street, Tamworth NSW 2340
18. Brendon Burns - Australian comedian in exile. Yes, he is offensive. Yes, he is self-indulgent. But he remains my most favoured stand up comedian, which remains my most favoured art-form. Previously blogged about here, and now seen... seven times live? Wow. Groupie much?
19. The photo at the top of this blog - and the fact that the cloud looks like a racing snail, zooming across the sky! And the fact that I changed the photo from an image of the Glebe Point Bridge (representative of all things urban) to this whimsical rural road trip shot. Symbolic of my acceptance of my not-so-new life in West Bubblefuck.
20. Couch time - Living in my own little corner of the Boy Factory, surrounded by the noise of their shenanigans. There is one place within my lovely little flat where the noise, the rascalling and the minor riots do not affect me.
My comfy, cushiony couch time is so so sweet. Plus purchasing this baby felt like a milestone, like it was further evidence of me being a grown up.
21. The A-Ha moment - and not the 80s one-hit-wonder with the brilliant animated music video. Being a teacher, especially an English teacher in the Boy Factory, I have to attempt to impart some pretty complex concepts. Like irony. Or perspective. Or implied information. But that moment when a kid gets it, the moment when he uses a hardcore analytical term CORRECTLY in conversation or discussion, the unbridled joy in too much to contain. I have been known to punch the air, face twisted in ecstasy, resembling something like a straight haired Elaine from Seinfeld. When one particular kid, who never really showed much affection for the mother tongue,correctly used "it's ironic, isn't it" in a PUB conversation (the year after he graduated, nothing untoward here!) I nearly fell off my barstool!
22. British Chocolate - It is difficult to explain, but chocolate from the British Isles tastes so much better than the Aussie stuff. Sure Cadbury has got their act together recently, with their new recipe and their new Fair Trade angle. But UK chockie is just creamier and meltier and so so sweet. Galaxy Bars can be sent to me, via The Boy Factory at any stage. Feel free.
23. Getting a follower for this here blog - I only have 2. My 2nd arrived today. *HI*!!! I don't know how many people read my less than coherent rangings, but I am a little bit of a sucker for some positive reinforcement...
24. Soda Stream - Making my own soda water does wonders for my life.
a) I don't create so much waste - 7 PET bottles a week was getting a little unruly
b) I get a little bit of fluoride for my teeth
c) I get to make that awesome PSSSSSST noise when I loosen the bottle from the shiny red machine (Red? Moi?)
25. The Gene Genie - In Life on Mars and later Ashes to Ashes, the shining light, the beacon, the blazing flame of resplendent awesomeness is Gene Hunt. Sexist, racist, bigoted, slightly corrupt, alcoholic. As I have previously said, I think he is the petrolhead, cop version of Mr Darcy. Insensitive, proud and sexy as hell.
26. Florence - The singer. As in 'And the Machine'. Not the city. Though the city was fun, with its Piazza del Nudie Rudie, and the Arno River - cause there Are No fish in it (see 7. Bad Puns). But the singer - with the porcelain skin, the flaming red hair and the voice of a dead set angel, who has been smoking a pack a day and drinks Irish whiskey, neat. Lungs is a brilliant album. Great music for any occasion.
27. Wearing stripey socks - Dunno why. I've always liked it. Don't like it so much when The Jealous Bitch (Sparky's dog) chews them up!!!!!! And even though the emo kids have kind have taken over a little bit, I don't care. I still love them!
28. The Oscars - Some divine friends of mine and I have developed a tradition. Each Oscars season, we try to watch as many nominated films as possible. Preparations start in November, as the field starts to take shape. Summer heat can be escaped in the overly cool air conditioned cinema.
Two awards are given - Most Films Seen and Most Films Picked in the tipping comp. Of course, being based in West Bubblefuck leaves me at a distinct disadvantage, what with out much maligned cinema being tres lame.
But of course it lights my ever-so-slightly competitive nature. And despite the fact that the Nine Network have been messing with the scheduling and the editing, I am still pretty enamoured with the whole Oscars Fest season.
29. References to The Wizard of Oz in The Simpsons - arguably the most referenced text in the incredibly awesome pomo animation. And everytime, it cracks me up!
30. Sparky - I guess at this point, representing my current age, and the party that he was instrumental in assisting me with, it might be a good time to mention the bf that makes me laugh. Even when the Boy Factory is getting me down. Even when I'm cranky pants, hungry, tired, disillusioned or feeling beige. Morning, evening, afternoon or wee small hours, this fella is truly a comedian and it was the very first thing that made me feel that first spark. Thanks, gorgeous! (OK, schmultzy part done!)
31. Stationery - Possibly the reason I became an English teacher. Do you know all my over-sized paperclips and teeny weeny staplers are tax deductible? Every trip to The Big Smoke involves a sneaky visit to BOTH kikki-k and Smiggle. And I cannot WAIT until West Bubblefuck gets an Officeworks!! Ah, it truly is the little things, right?
32. The Flames - Up until earlier this year, it had been some time since I had graced the boards of a basketball court. But based on a passing conversation and a loose commitment of "yeah, that sounds like fun!", The Flames were born! Sometimes referred to as The Boy Factory WAGS, this ragtag bunch of enthusiastic players range from the novice to the guru, the PE teacher to the gaspingly unfit. Last season we were PREMIERS... of C Division. We have been promoted and this season so far we are undefeated... But there has been some close calls. It feels great to be back in a team, back in a situation where I can find an outlet for my outrageously competitive nature. And the fact that a few of my team mates have grace, skill and the ability to shoot allows me to hide behind my defensive skills!
33. Fat babies - because skinny ones just aren't as cute. Don't get me wrong, I have seen some bloody GORGEOUS skinny infants, but studies show that fat ones actually make me much cluckier.*
*actual data not available
34. All of Harry Potter except the epilogue at the end of Book 7 - My brother's friend (Hi Dean!) is planning a walk-out at the end of Deathly Hallows Part II so as to avoid seeing that bitterly disappointing epilogue. But all of the rest of it is well constructed narrative, beautifully drawn characters and page-turning writing. Even Chamber of Secrets!
35 The dancing scene out of Little Miss Sunshine -
This scene doesn't just make me grin a little bit. It makes me laugh so hard that I cry. Even when I have seen it about a million times. Even when I am sitting at home alone watching it through my incredibly slow regional wireless internet (no comment Mr Rabbit). Without fail. Brilliant film.
36. Shameless namedropping - CLUNK Did you just hear that? It was the sound of me dropping another name. Like that time that Elle McPherson borrowed my hairbrush? Like that time I was in a lock in with Claire Danes in an enormous argument about the pronunciation of 'foyer' with a lovely Kiwi and a bunch of poms. Like the times I see my uni mates get beaten up or totally naked on Underbelly... It is pretty shameless and narcissistic. But I don't care!
38. Long beaded necklaces, combined with the phrase "La Douche" - I don't quite remember how these got from innocent to entirely filthy in one single conversation in a kitchen in Paddington. But now I cannot see nor hear these things without corpsing like mad.
39. Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars - I have committed to only buying these oh-so-comfy sneakers when they are on sale. Retail price Chucks are for chumps. I have been a bit smitten with this flat footwear for about 17 years now, through all of its incarnations of cool since the mid-90s. Grunge. Stage managing. The emo resurgence. Currently I have only a few in rotation... light blue, navy, red lace-less and ladybug pattern!
40. Squinty McPout - I love the fact that if Helen Hunt and Scarlett Johannson had a daughter, she might look like Renee Zelweger. And she would be known as Squinty McPout
41. Every time Vampire Bill says "Sookie" - it sounds like Sucky. Nothing like a Brit playing an American Vampire from the deep south!
42. Oporto - Fast food done so so well. The day one opened in town I was so so excited. A double fillet Bondi meal with extra extra chilli (when I was in the Big Smoke, it was only extra chilli, but it turns out in West Bubblefuck, the chilli dosage is lower), layered with some chips. There are a few boys from The Factory that work there, and they make it the best. Sometimes when it comes out, the wrapper says "Miss Chop". It's like I am some kind of celebrity
43. Sunsets - West Bubblefuck gets some stunning sunsets. Way better than The Big Smoke. Bigger, more colours, longer time... Though the 360 degree ones at Bondi were pretty fantastic too, I guess!
44. The drum solo in "Laid" - A song that is a favourite with trivia masters everywhere. And the drum break is best played on a steering wheel, with the stereo cranked, on a road trip somewhere.
45. Photo-Leg - The phenomenon of the female form being twisted slightly, front leg raised slightly to rest on the toe, chest thrust out. The kind of pose that chicks think makes them look skinnier. The kind of pose that makes them seem like a vacuous bint, and worthy of ridicule!
46. My espresso machine - As a part of the campaign of I'm A Grown Up Now, So I Need To Spend Money And Buy Stuff, my beautiful little robot was purchased. Gone are the days of plunger coffee and instant crap. When I used to get my fix on the commute, when I live AND work at The Boy Factory, I thought this little toy an entirely necessary gadget for my tiny tiny galley kitchen. My morning saviour... Ah, spoken like a true addict.
47. This photo -
48. Astolat Dayz - Nostalgia has a bad rep. Sentimental, living in the past... Whatever neg you want to throw at it, it has been slung before. I have done more than my fair share of share housing, on both sides of the globe. But my first share house was the best. Me and three fellas from Baxter managed to snaffle a big brick house in a quiet cul de sac, filled with found furniture and cheap crockery. We held cracking parties, did lots of shouting at the television and had epic games of Mortal Kombat. The house had a few different line-ups, and each had its merits. But as usual the original was the best. These boys all have wives now, increasing the pressure for me to find my own wife... In fact, they are the same girls they were together with when we lived together. We are now sprinkled all over the globe. We have only been completely re-united a few times in the last 10 years, but when it happens, it is a little bit like regression and a little bit like perfection. I love those dudes!
49. Frank Gallagher -
Toxic father. Brilliant character. Shameless is yet further evidence as to why the Brits make the best TV in the world.
50. S.T.A.M.P.S. Watches - Having an enormous watch face has an added bonus as a teacher. I can glance at it without giving it away to the Boys at The Factory. But I also like wearing a little bit of art on my wrist. I have 3 - a Barcelona Chair design, a Russian Soviet flag design and the record one pictured below!
to be continued....
Combination of 2 of the Best Things in the Universe
Go here.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/27350111.html
Now.
Combining two of the greatest men the world has ever seen. (Aside from the less green one who possibly may have some anger issues.)
My love for Muppets finally meets my long standing admiration for Christian Bale
This is just the start:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/27350111.html
Now.
Combining two of the greatest men the world has ever seen. (Aside from the less green one who possibly may have some anger issues.)
My love for Muppets finally meets my long standing admiration for Christian Bale
This is just the start:
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Winter Blockbusters: Salty
Angelina is a premier action star. Philip Noyce is a premier action director. Salt promised to be a tasty tasty action flick, and considering the pedigree, had the potential to be rich in storyline and thick with stunts.
I am delighted that this film doesn't have Tom Cruise in it. What with him being a shit excuse for an actor, and barely passable as a human being. What kind of creature denies the existence of mental illness??!?
The reason I include this, of course, is because the role was originally intended for the Tiny Man, but fortunately there was a scheduling clash. A win for all, I think. So Angelina was brought in, she of the anti-stunt double, anti-green screen. She who has almost as many tatts as she has children. She who used to wear a vile of her husband's blood around her neck. Pretty much hardcore, is what I am saying.
So to Salt. The set pieces were phenomenally good. Ripping a moving roadbike out of the hands of the rider. Enormous explosions on barges, and running up walls in hand to hand combat against security guards and the CIA alike.
But the plot was as thin as Angelina's waist, and seemed to leap about like she leapt from truck to speeding truck. The flashback sequences tried to hold some semblance of a storyline together, but I don't think they were strong enough. Spy stuff CAN have a plot. Bourne for example. Or Alias. Or Chuck. And Bond might be formulaic, but there is usually character development, even if it is the same character, doing the same developments everytime. I think possibly the filmmakers were trying so desperately to keep us in suspense that they forgot to let us in one just enough details for us to give a damn whether or not she was a goodie or a baddie.
But this is an action flick. Hard core popcorn. It doesn't NEED a plot to hang together!!!
The question of whether or not the audience has more sympathy with her because she is a woman...? I mean, really? Are we not past this yet? It is the same bullshit question about whether or not Gillard didn't get as many votes because she is a female. To be honest, I would think that it would make the audience more suspicious of Evelyn Salt that sympathetic. I mean, chicks don't trust chicks, what with us being conditioned to compete for jobs, fellas, maternity leave and the last size 41s in West Bubblefuck. And blokes don't trust chicks, because we are unpredictable and don't have a willy.
There are some lessons about action flicks and gender to be learned, as NY Mag reveals. Including the old died hair correlation...
But I trust Jolie more than I would trust Cruise. In pretty much anything.
The reason I include this, of course, is because the role was originally intended for the Tiny Man, but fortunately there was a scheduling clash. A win for all, I think. So Angelina was brought in, she of the anti-stunt double, anti-green screen. She who has almost as many tatts as she has children. She who used to wear a vile of her husband's blood around her neck. Pretty much hardcore, is what I am saying.
So to Salt. The set pieces were phenomenally good. Ripping a moving roadbike out of the hands of the rider. Enormous explosions on barges, and running up walls in hand to hand combat against security guards and the CIA alike.
But the plot was as thin as Angelina's waist, and seemed to leap about like she leapt from truck to speeding truck. The flashback sequences tried to hold some semblance of a storyline together, but I don't think they were strong enough. Spy stuff CAN have a plot. Bourne for example. Or Alias. Or Chuck. And Bond might be formulaic, but there is usually character development, even if it is the same character, doing the same developments everytime. I think possibly the filmmakers were trying so desperately to keep us in suspense that they forgot to let us in one just enough details for us to give a damn whether or not she was a goodie or a baddie.
But this is an action flick. Hard core popcorn. It doesn't NEED a plot to hang together!!!
There are some lessons about action flicks and gender to be learned, as NY Mag reveals. Including the old died hair correlation...
But I trust Jolie more than I would trust Cruise. In pretty much anything.
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