Winter Blockbusters: Salty

Angelina is a premier action star. Philip Noyce is a premier action director. Salt promised to be a tasty tasty action flick, and considering the pedigree, had the potential to be rich in storyline and thick with stunts.

I am delighted that this film doesn't have Tom Cruise in it. What with him being a shit excuse for an actor, and barely passable as a human being. What kind of creature denies the existence of mental illness??!?

The reason I include this, of course, is because the role was originally intended for the Tiny Man, but fortunately there was a scheduling clash. A win for all, I think. So Angelina was brought in, she of the anti-stunt double, anti-green screen. She who has almost as many tatts as she has children. She who used to wear a vile of her husband's blood around her neck. Pretty much hardcore, is what I am saying.

So to Salt. The set pieces were phenomenally good. Ripping a moving roadbike out of the hands of the rider. Enormous explosions on barges, and running up walls in hand to hand combat against security guards and the CIA alike.

But the plot was as thin as Angelina's waist, and seemed to leap about like she leapt from truck to speeding truck. The flashback sequences tried to hold some semblance of a storyline together, but I don't think they were strong enough. Spy stuff CAN have a plot. Bourne for example. Or Alias. Or Chuck. And Bond might be formulaic, but there is usually character development, even if it is the same character, doing the same developments everytime. I think possibly the filmmakers were trying so desperately to keep us in suspense that they forgot to let us in one just enough details for us to give a damn whether or not she was a goodie or a baddie.

But this is an action flick. Hard core popcorn. It doesn't NEED a plot to hang together!!!

The question of whether or not the audience has more sympathy with her because she is a woman...? I mean, really? Are we not past this yet? It is the same bullshit question about whether or not Gillard didn't get as many votes because she is a female. To be honest, I would think that it would make the audience more suspicious of Evelyn Salt that sympathetic. I mean, chicks don't trust chicks, what with us being conditioned to compete for jobs, fellas, maternity leave and the last size 41s in West Bubblefuck. And blokes don't trust chicks, because we  are unpredictable and don't have a willy.

There are some lessons about action flicks and gender to be learned, as NY Mag reveals. Including the old died hair correlation...

But I trust Jolie more than I would trust Cruise. In pretty much anything.