As Per The Title

I love a mixed metaphor. Hence the title of my blog, here.

I love it when people accidentally squirrel about with common idioms because they forget what the real ones are, or because they never knew. I also like it when people do it on purpose, but not quite as much.

My brother is a killer. He is the kind of guy who loves to seem like he knows everything about everything, and can talk a whole lot of crap without actually saying anything at all. When he was going to an interview at a Catholic university, he mentioned he should try to "find some rosemary beads" to show how religious he is.

And when attempting to be frank and deliberate, he claims he doesn't want to "butter around the bush".

Rowdy recently said that she had to be "up at the crack of sparrows" and had no idea what I found so funny.

Jase's acquaintance from days of yore was fond of pulling them out of the air:
"It's not all roses and cream you know!"
"All ships aboard!"
"You wouldn't know a hammer if it was blue!"

And on the Famous Mixed Metaphor Mountains weekend a few years ago, some more were coined too.
Revenge is a Fish. (best served cold)
That's a taken. (as opposed to a given)

Yesterday I stumbled across another. A kid at school said to Davo:
"I'm not the brightest chocolate in the box, sir"

No, buddy. No you aren't.